Staying in the Family Home in Virginia: Carrying Costs

Virginia

Staying in the Family Home in Virginia: Exclusive Use and Carrying Costs

This page covers Virginia law only.

In Virginia, exclusive use of the family home is a pending-case question. Virginia Code section 20-103(A) says the court is allowed to order exclusive use and possession of the family residence while the suit is pending. The text I read states no rule for after the decree. Ask your attorney. Carrying costs run either way.

Marc Cormier

By Marc Cormier

Licenses: Maryland #620443 | Virginia #0225175181 | DC #SP98365998 | Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

27+ years in real estate. 800+ closed transactions.

Certified as a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE) in 2014.

Last updated: October 2, 2026

The questions

Can the court give one spouse exclusive use of the house while the case is pending?

The court is allowed to. Virginia Code section 20-103(A) lists exclusive use and possession of the family residence during the pendency of the suit among the orders available. The statute says allowed. It does not say a court will grant one in your case. Ask your attorney whether to request an order and what the court needs from you.

Source: Virginia Code section 20-103(A)

What does exclusive use and possession mean?

The statute names the phrase and does not define it in the text I read. In plain terms, it concerns which spouse lives in the family residence while the case is pending. Ask your attorney what an order covers in your case, including access, keys, and bills. Get the written order and read every line before you act on it.

Source: Virginia Code section 20-103(A)

Does exclusive use change who owns the house?

Section 20-103(A) deals with use and possession while the case is pending. Virginia Code section 20-107.3(A) is where the court determines legal title and ownership of property when it decrees a divorce or dissolution. Use of the house and ownership of the house are separate questions. Ask your attorney how an order affects your claim to the house.

Source: Virginia Code section 20-103(A) and Virginia Code section 20-107.3(A)

Who pays the mortgage while we divorce?

This page states no rule on who pays. Virginia Code section 20-103(A) covers support and maintenance while the case is pending, so ask your attorney whether to request an order. Until an order or a written agreement says otherwise, put your plan on paper. Track each payment, the account it came from, and the date. Keep the loan current.

Source: Virginia Code section 20-103(A)

Who pays taxes and insurance while we divorce?

Write down who pays property tax and homeowner insurance, and keep both current. Ask your lender whether your monthly payment already includes them. Unpaid tax or a lapse in coverage puts the house at risk. Agree in writing whether the payer is repaid from the sale proceeds. Ask your attorney, lender, or title company how your facts apply.

Source: practical guidance, no statute cited

What are carrying costs?

Carrying costs are the monthly cost of holding the house. They include the mortgage payment, property tax, insurance, utilities, and upkeep. They run whether or not anyone sells. In an example at $3,500 a month, six months costs $21,000. Add up your own monthly total, and ask your attorney, lender, or title company to confirm each line.

Source: practical guidance, no statute cited

How much do carrying costs add up to?

At an example $3,500 a month, three months is $10,500. Four months is $14,000. Six months is $21,000. Twelve months is $42,000. Eighteen months is $63,000. Your number depends on your loan, taxes, insurance, and upkeep. Add up your own monthly total before you decide to wait, stay, or list.

Source: practical guidance, no statute cited

Can we live apart under one roof?

Some spouses try it for a while. This page makes no legal claim about it. Write house rules for shared rooms, mail, keys, guests, and showings, and keep messages in writing. If you are not safe at home, call 911. Ask your attorney, lender, or title company whether sharing a house affects any step you plan.

Source: practical guidance, no statute cited

What if the spouse who stays does not keep the house up?

Document it. Take dated photos, keep repair requests and replies, and keep messages in writing. Agree in writing on a dollar amount above which both spouses approve repairs and who pays. In my experience, deferred upkeep lowers offers. Send the record to your attorney, who decides the next step. Ask your attorney, lender, or title company what applies.

Source: practical guidance, no statute cited

Is there a rule for who stays after the decree?

The statute I read gives the court a power for the time the case is pending. That is Virginia Code section 20-103(A). I verified no rule on who lives in the home after the decree, so this page states none. Ask your attorney about orders after the decree, and write an end date into any agreement.

Source: Virginia Code section 20-103(A)

Local note for Northern Virginia

The Fairfax Courthouse Self-Help Resource Center is a walk-in resource open to the public at 4110 Chain Bridge Road, Suite 115 (1st Floor), Fairfax, VA 22030, Monday to Friday, 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM, closed holidays. It gives information about court procedures, forms, legal resources, and referrals to legal aid. It does not give legal advice.

Source: https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/topics/courthouse-self-help-center

Do you need a divorce attorney?

You should have your own. I am a real estate agent. I do not give legal advice, and I do not work for one spouse against the other.

I am not affiliated with any law firm. I do not recommend one attorney over another. Your spouse needs their own attorney, not yours.

If you need to find one, start here:

Links open in a new tab.

What an attorney handlesWhat I handle
Who gets the house and the moneyThe value of the house
The marital settlement agreementThe net sheet
Court orders that affect the saleListing, showings, offers, and closing
Custody, support, and everything outside real estateA written record of every showing and decision

General information only. Not legal, tax, or financial advice. The referral service is independent of me. I do not guarantee any attorney's work or results.

Marc Cormier

Licenses: Maryland #620443 | Virginia #0225175181 | DC #SP98365998 | Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

Co-author of "Cracking the Real Estate Code," a best seller in four Amazon categories on release day, September 2013.

Certified as a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE) in 2014.

Sources

General information only. Not legal, tax, or financial advice. Example numbers are for teaching only.

Get the numbers before you decide.

15 minutes. Free. No pressure.

(301) 660-6272 Marc@Help34.com